Week One of Becoming: Acknowledge the Pain

Pain is one things every woman knows, even if the details of our stories look different. We do not all carry the same wounds, but we all know what it feels like to hurt quietly while still showing up for everyone else.

This week, I want to talk about pain in a way that gives you permission to feel your own. Not to compare it as we often do, and not to pretend it did not shape you, because the truth is, our hurt does impact our lives in ways we notice and in ways that often go unnoticed. This week, I want you to reflect and acknowledge it honestly, and without judgment. What in your past or even your present is painful, disappointing, and making you feel emotions that could settle into your bones, become part of your DNA, and impact your happiness? Truly put time into thinking about these moments. Yes, it is uncomfortable. Grab the tissues but truly reflect.

Healing comes with a price. There is no discount code. There is no shortcut. There is no skip to the good part. Healing will cost you something.

It may cost you the comfort of pretending everything is fine. It may cost you admitting what you have survived. It may cost you relationships or friendships you thought would last forever. It may cost you the version of yourself that wears a mask, the version of you that hides to avoid more disappointment. Protecting your heart is not allowing you to grow or to show up authentically. It continues to invite old energy into your current life. That is why we often ask, “Why does this keep happening to me?”

Sometimes healing means walking away from everything you have ever known. But here is the thing, you are not paying that price because you are broken. You are paying it because you are becoming. You are paying attention, and you are realizing you have more control than you think, more control than others have made you feel.

Healing is not about dwelling on what was done to you or even what you have done to others. It is about choosing to stop carrying what no longer belongs to you. It is about stepping into the present with honesty and courage, even when the past still tugs at your sleeve. It is okay to accept the past. It can be a part of your story without being your story. It can be a chapter without being the entire book. We too often allow our past to lead. We say we do not want old energy in our space, yet we start new relationships by leading with our past. Why? What good is it doing? Sure, sometimes a few details are important, but does the entire bag of chaos really need to be dumped out so your new friendship or partner has to sort through it with you?

Now, I am a gal who loves authenticity. I am someone who overshares. Not because I am living in the past, but because I have done a lot of soul work and want other women to know that our past is truly with us but not who we are. We are not broken. We are becoming. Every single day we become more. More beautiful, more resilient, and more authentic to who we are supposed to be(come).

I will share pieces of my story throughout this series not because my pain or my past is the point, but because I want you to know you are not alone, and that healing is possible. I have lived through loss, trauma, instability, and a period of time that nearly swallowed me whole. There are chapters of my story that are filled with chaos. But this is not a story about suffering. It is a story about what happens when you decide your future deserves more than your past ever offered.

This series is not here to make everything feel good. It is a slow burn designed to provide true growth throughout the journey. I also want to add that simply reading will not heal you. You have to take action. You have to reflect and consider what has happened to you, how it has impacted you, and also how you may have contributed to the chaos in your life. This is not a Band-Aid feel-good series. I do love a quick fix, but healing is not quick. It is deliberate, calculated change. If you are looking for a soft, tidy message, this may not be the space for you.

This week’s reflection:

Every woman carries something with her. What are you carrying with you? Maybe it was a childhood without stability or a home where emotions needed to be hidden. Maybe it was loss, betrayal, or heartbreak. Some women carry the weight of emotional or physical abuse. Some carry the memory of relationships that drained them or periods of life where survival was the only goal. Others carry grief, financial instability, addiction in the home, or mental health struggles. Most of us carry more than one of these burdens. What are you carrying around with you?

I lost my mother and sister, grew up with an absent father, married an abusive man at nineteen, and spent years trying to rebuild as a single mom. I searched for a place where I belonged while carrying the scars my ex-husband left on my soul. I searched in the wrong places. I felt worthless, anxious, and lost. Your story may look different, but the impact of pain is something we all understand. Pain has a way of following us until we finally turn toward it, sit with it, embrace it, and start understanding it.

This is your invitation to pause, breathe, and acknowledge what you have carried. This week we are not trying to fix anything. We are allowing space to acknowledge pain. We’re not pretending to be fine. Your story matters and that you are not the only one learning how to step out of the past and into the life you are building.

I hope you will take the time this week to write down the parts of you that feel heavy, the parts you hold onto that you no longer want to lead.

Next week, we are going to dive further into discomfort. Because unpacking is a slow process, and sitting with discomfort is what it takes to let go and move forward. As you read this, I hope you have a journal and follow along each week.

The assignment this week is writing down and sitting with your discomfort. Make time each day. It does not have to be pretty or grammatically correct. It does not have to flow. Let the feelings be raw, how you feel, and even how you have felt.

I will also post a poem today. It is not polished. It is not refined to fit poetry textbook standards. It is not trying to be anything more than how I felt in that moment. It was written several years ago but a reminder of how freeing journaling can be.

But anyway,

Cara